... Equality in Competition.

During the summer of last year, I spent a week volunteering at a club for children organised by Scripture Union.

I was asked to teach a memory verse to the children. And because I wanted to make the learning process competitive, the day before, I bought a packet of candy to share to the first, second, maybe third, winning teams (out of 4 teams).

When I was up to teach, I told the tasks to the four teams. As expected, minutes later, one of the teams completed the task. To these ones, I gave a share of the candy. Another team finished second  and I gave them also a share... The camp leader, discerning from the candy left that I intended to leave one team candy-less came to me and said, 'Just make sure all teams get something. Give everyone something.' Wait...wuh?? I was puzzled! The loser loses, no? He loses the gift, he gains no share of the trophy or the prize, right? So why is this lady trying to challenge my belief about winners & losers in a competition? Nevertheless, in obedience, I did give everyone a share of the pack although I was troubled and kept wondering why she made me do that.

This year, I went to the same camp as I did last year and it was again my duty to teach a memory verse. Like last year, I made it a task-based competition for the teams, however, this year, I kept the advice from my camp leader in mind. While putting the candy together before time, I thought of the previous year and her advice began to make some sense as I asked myself certain questions: What's the point of competition? Why differentiate prizes? To make the losers feel like losers? As if losing were not enough. #smh. Really, of what benefit is competing to a child's development? Hm?

I come from a very competitive society. Parents encourage their children to be ahead in class (by all means). You are deprived of some goodies and outings during holidays, if you do not come first in class (by the way, I think coming first was/is a very silly yardstick for measuring success). Also, one must compete to secure a job. Sometimes, people have to step on others to get ahead. Really, of what benefit is this? I think this kind of attitude does not encourage a healthy learning/work environment.

I think If one has in mind that at the end of the day, he would get the same prize as the next man, he can forgive the system for being full of flaws, for not making all play by the same rules. He can help the next man and the next man can help him grow and learn. Plus, people do not become so focused on getting the prize at the other's expense. Get my drift?

Truly, it didn't matter who won or lost in the memory verse task. The point of the task was to foster learning. It is better not to make enemies or make anyone feel left out by being 'partial' in gift giving. There really need not be a winner, don't you agree?

LOOK OUT!! KIDS!!

Yea, it has been a while. I've been busy with exams. Also, last week, I was blessed to spend the time as a volunteer at a children's camp organised by Scripture Union.

I never expected that I had a lot to learn from or about kids from my camp experience. I probably learned more than I had to teach them....lol.

Living in a flat close to the university, surrounded by university students, and in a country where language poses a huge communication problem with locals, I can be excused for being very out of touch with family-hood or children and their behaviour. One can also understand why the way kids behave can be quite alien and shocking to me (the excused...#haha). The camp was also a lab for me. I could indulge and also observe. At the end of camp, I had some impressions, confusions and questions about children.

Observation #1: Awe!
Kids are most appreciative and awestruck by the least of things. They are so easily impressed. It was fascinating for me. It made me wonder: What makes us adults raise the standard so high? Does the sun need to breath ice for us to be impressed? Do we need to see a person draw/paint like Leonardo Da Vinci before we appreciate it? I was challenged by this attitude to look at every creation like a child would, appreciating the detail or the lack of it. :) I believe this would indeed help me to be grateful for small things

Observation #2: Energy, anyone?
Whoa! Kids have so much energy. Imagine if we could transform the thermal energy children oozed daily into usable electrical power supply. Mehn! My country shall never suffer power outages/sudden blackouts...#lol. Do they ever feel the need to sit still and be quiet? Was I really like this as a child? Did I and my siblings give my mum/dad a hard time controlling us?

Observation #3: A child's mind.
Hmm... Does our mind get more complex as we grow older? I would find that hard to believe, really. The mind of a child, who can understand? There was a 3-year old kid at camp. He was told to paint some flower pots within a circle. This young man had other plans....
I'm like, wuh? Really? but like a proud designer, he seemed satisfied, even comfortable, with it: the colour-pencilled red zigzags running in all directions within each circle and the inadequately coloured flower pots begging for colour. In my head, I'm reasoning... What's this little guy thinking? What's in his mind? a couple of zigzags? Does he have a convincing reason for what he's just done? Can he sell his product? I didn't find out, though, and I'm convinced I wouldn't. :)

Observation #4: On approval...
Kids seek attention so much. O well, don't we all? I think this is one thing we couldn't/can't outgrow. We all seek some kind of approval, but I think there's a difference between an adult seeking approval and a child seeking this. I can tell 3 miles away, when someone really is faking a smile of approval, but kids do not seem to care. They just need to hear, 'ügyes vagy' (you're clever), 'very good', 'wow! awesome!'. A 2-second (fake) smile seems to be enough to keep a child happy. All this was very confusing. As a personal principle, I try to be honest with my praise. I have to genuinely feel that what you've done is worth the praise I give. Do I break this principle now to keep a child happy? Hmmm.... I guess I have to refer back to Observation #1. If you want to be friends with children/keep them happy, you've got to lower your expectations, sorta. Also, it might help to look for something in what they've done that is praiseworthy. For example, 'O wow... your choice of colours in this painting is fantastic. I love it.' Then, you can satisfy your conscience that you've smiled and praised genuinely. Your mouth and heart are in sync.

After all has been said, I think children are amazing and fascinating (No, not in the same way that lab animals are....lol.) Their existence is a gift. Somehow, more than we are models for them, we can learn from their honesty and simplicity. We can covet their awe threshold, so we can be grateful for the small things,  appreciate and find beauty in the humble, 'not-so-impressive' things. We can learn to find beauty in their zigzags, and give a loving appreciative smile for their little artworks and 'inventions'. We can love them, knowing we were once in their shoes, proving that, somehow, we understand.
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